This much is making me weak...
I just found myself wide awake,
thoughts of you preoccupy my mind.
I shouldn't feel this way.
The course is vague. So, I keep on holding back.
The ocean is too deep. Would I risk being drowned?
My dreams brought you to me...
But I'm not to risk it.
I'll just wait until it fades away,
'cause I really shouldn't feel this way.
Forever is a long journey. So, I keep on holding back.
Love is calling. Would I ever find a way?
Guards up! – Here we go again. Same old…same old me. I’m building new walls around my heart, but this time no more bricks—all Concrete.
Have you experienced having sleepless nights, tossing and turning in bed, Butterflies tickling your stomach, thoughts of someone who weakens your soul and makes you melt just that? In my case, for the nth time, I do! But what makes it different this time? It’s the thought that I’ve seen him before, not in my dreams or in our past lives (but somewhere in Manila). How I’m suddenly aware of my own heartbeat when I heard him utter my name. How the moment froze and everything…everyone was in slow-mo, literally. How my sight narrowed were all I could see was the man standing in front of me. – Here goes my heart again!
If you were to ask me if I like the feeling…YES! I really like or should I say love the feeling it brings, but am I to risk my heart to be hurt again on this what you so-called one-sided-kind-of –love? That’s one of the reasons why I keep on holding back. I’m afraid of being hurt again, without them knowing that they are the reason for my tears. I’m afraid of wasting my time again just staring from afar and letting those words of love slip away…I don’t want to rely on destiny anymore. God brought me where I should be but all the answers are in my hands…
I’ve been waiting for the right man to come and I want to believe that I just met him, that it’s all a matter of time…but, but, but… I want to spare my heart from the pain and my eyes from all the tears. How I wish he also felt the same way I do the time I met him. I want it all to be real this time. If I’m going to let myself make-believe, I’ll be just letting him in my system. If he only felt it…I’ll let myself fall ‘cause I know there’s someone to catch me before I hit the ground.
Not until then, I’ll secure a great wall before my heart.
P.S. I was enchanted to meet you! <3